


Little secret

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27285658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: As the hospital closes, Ethan and Claire discuss what they want to do next work-wise. Ethan's fear of getting left behind makes him push her away once again.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 19





	Little secret

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Are we all okay? I'm still salty that PB casually left out weeks of plot, and you can't tell me that a convo about what's next didn't happen. And I also steered away from canon with one teeny tiny (big as hell) detail, because I am a hoe for my two idiots.  
> It's angst with a good ending time, bby  
> Enjoy! <3

The door to his apartment closed behind them with a soft click, and the lights flooding the room seconds later. There was an unspoken comfort between them; it has been since they left the hospital together, for what could have been one of the last times they got to do that.

_Her feet touched the ground outside Edenbrook as she took a deep breath, letting her eyes fall shut. Squaring her shoulders, she took half a step forward with an intention to head home, when a hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back gently._

_Ethan’s eyes were focused on her with laser precision. There was something final in his eyes, like a decision has been made; a decision she knew nothing about. He pulled her closer, leaning down and lowering his voice._

_“Come home with me.”_

His living room looked like he left in a hurry that morning. A blanket he sometimes used to keep himself warm in the evening was tousled and almost completely lying on the floor; pillows were in disarray and an empty cup that held coffee a few hours prior was sitting on the glass table in front of the couch.

Claire moved to tidy it up as Ethan went to the kitchen to get them something to eat. When she was done and she turned towards him, observing him at work as she approached, she noticed a stack of envelops spread on the counter.

“What are those?” she asked, waiting for his permission to look at what was inside. His muscles tensed for a split second, then relaxed a bit and he nodded his head to let her know it was okay for her to open them.

“Letters from hospitals. Work offers.”

“Damn, Dr. Ramsey, you are in high demand.” She teased him, tracing the names of the hospitals with her eyes. Or, rather, the cities in which they were in.

On the very top, she found two addresses from Boston or nearby, Solomon Kenmore being one of them, ironically. Then a couple of hospitals spread all over the country, ranging from New York to Los Angeles.

“Have you thought about what you want to do next?” Ethan asked, seemingly offhandedly, tension in his voice almost sliding past her.

“Not really. I’m thinking of something nearby, though.” Her answer was truthful. She’s made a life for herself in Boston, and she couldn’t see herself leaving it anytime soon.

“I think you should look into something further away. So many hospitals would be lucky to have you.”

“What? Ethan-” he caught her by surprise with his statement, but before she could get another word in, he was already talking again.

“You could join another team. You’re brilliant, I don’t see any hospital telling you ‘no’. For the sake of your career, it should be in your best interest-“

“You don’t get to tell me what’s ‘in my best interest.’” She cut him off, huffing in disbelief. When they started this conversation, she couldn’t have thought that this was where he was going to take it. It seemed to her like he purposefully pushed her away. Again. And that hurt. “It’s _my_ life, it’s _my_ career, and it’s _me_ who gets to decide what’s best for me.”

Ethan stopped what he was doing, putting the spoon down and turning towards her fully. There was regret painted all over his face and his moves were careful, like he was approaching a wild animal. “I don’t want you to choose something you’re not going to be happy with because of me.”

Her bitter laugh startled him. He expected her to shout, to run, but to hear her laugh was an unexpected outcome. “I’m choosing to stay near Boston because of _me_. Because of what _I_ want. I have a life here. I feel good here. I enjoy all of this. You’re here too, and I like it that way.”

“Don’t you see that I’m holding you back? _This_ is what I’ve always been worried about. I want you to explore your options and you can’t do that unless I give you your freedom-“

“I don’t need you to give me my freedom! I’m an adult, I can make my own decisions, Ethan. And my decision is you.” she exclaimed, taking a tiny step towards him. Her eyes were burning with unshed tears, but her gaze was hotter than fire as she stared at him. He froze completely upon her words, looking at her in surprise. “You can’t be _that_ oblivious. I want _you_. Why is it so hard for you to understand?”

Claire took in a shuddered breath, placing her hand on the counter to regain her balance. Ethan was staring at her, unable to get even a single word out. Did he know about it all before she spelled it out for him? He had his predictions, but as with everything, he preferred to approach it with caution.

“It’s not an infatuation for me. I stopped being ‘a little intern enamored with her boss’ a long time ago.” Shaking her head at the phrase, she watched as his mouth fell open, trying to tell her that she was never a ‘little intern’, even though the second part of the sentence was definitely true, and it was very much reciprocated.

“You kissed me, in front of _everyone_ , Ethan. And yet here we are, this thing between us is still hanging in the air because we still didn’t even acknowledge it.” a flash of pain and pensiveness passed through her face when she spoke up again. “If you don’t want this and you were just looking for an excuse to take it all back-“

Her rant was effectively put on hold when he threw himself onto her and pressed his lips to hers. His hands gripped her face, locking his fingers behind her ears to keep her close to him. For a moment, she forgot about their argument, letting herself fall into his embrace and kiss him back with just as much desperation and devotion. But then she remembered and, not without effort, she pulled back, pressing on his shoulders.

“Don’t kiss me while I’m mad at you.”

“Sorry, I just- I had to stop you.” he trailed his hands away from her face, unsure if she would allow him to touch her at all. Her hands didn’t leave his body, though, so he brushed a stray curl away from her face, caressing her cheek with the back of his finger tenderly. “In what world would I want an out of this?”

“You made your previous statement sound awfully like breaking up.”

Ethan sighed heavily. Not like he just realized how his words sounded, but like he just realized the mistake he’s made. And it wasn’t an obvious one, at least not at first. “Just… come here.”

He placed his hand on her shoulder blade, guiding her to sit on the couch, joining her a second later. Taking a moment to gather his wits, he ran the tips of his fingers over her hands, smiling down sadly at them.

“I don’t want you to leave Boston. Of course, I don’t. I’ve spent too much time trying to stay away from you, and now that I have you, life is threatening to slip you through my fingers.” His shoulders slumped a bit when fractions of stress left his body with each word he said. “I know that we haven’t exactly defined this relationship between us. Believe me, I wanted to, so many times. I wanted to tell you those words. But every time I think about saying them, I freeze.”

He took her hands into his properly, squeezing them softly as his eyes found hers. She was smiling at him tenderly, hanging onto every word he said. He felt the warmth of her expression, almost as though she covered him with a blanket or hugged him.

“I have the words. They never leave my head, and they’re louder with every look at you I take. I try to tell you, and no sound leaves my mouth. Because the last time I said that to someone, they left me and my Dad.”

The space between them was diminishing by the second until they were sitting as close to one another as possible. With their fingers intertwined, they talked in hushed voices, finally having the conversation that has been a long time coming. Claire looked up at him with concern.

“Is that what this arguing today was about? You tried to drive me away from you so that you wouldn’t have to find out what happens if you tell me?”

Ethan nodded, hanging his head low in embarrassment. It has just hit him how much he hadn’t thought this whole thing through. What would he have done if she agreed? If she did leave Boston and left him behind? What would he get out of it?

“I thought if you left me before I told you, it would hurt less. Now I realize how stupid of me it was.”

Twisting in her seat, she faced him entirely, slipping her hands out of his hold and raising them to take his face into them. Once she was sure that he was looking at her and that he was listening to every word she was saying, she muttered.

“I’m not leaving. I have a little secret that you may not know about. A secret I’m about to let you in on.” she leaned forward, brushing her lips against his, but not kissing him quite yet. “I love you.”

Ethan didn’t freeze; didn’t lean away; just persistently stared at her, taking in the way her cheeks flushed upon this close inspection his eyes were conducting. He could barely see her face from where he was, but he could see her eyes very clearly. And they confirmed what she just confessed. She loved him.

“And there is nothing that I, you, or even _the universe_ can do about it.”

“I- “ he tried to say something, but he was far too stunned. Ten minutes ago he was preparing to lose her. Now, he knew for a fact that she loved him. And he knew that he loved her too.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready to say it yet. I’ll be here for a long time, Ethan, I can wait. I just wanted you to know.”

“I don’t want you to wait.” He suddenly found his voice, the frustration with himself taking over and allowing him to talk. “You shouldn’t be forced to wait.”

“And I don’t want you to tell me when you’re feeling the way you do right now. If you’re sure, tell me tomorrow. _After_ we both have eaten dinner and gotten a good night’s sleep.”

Ethan held back the urge to kiss her just long enough for her to finish her sentence. After that, there was no telling when he was going to stop kissing her, touching her, feeling her being at his side. It felt like she belonged there. He knew it, and from tomorrow forward, he was going to make damn sure that she knew it too.


End file.
